Sunday, December 21, 2008
Extreme Airport Security
This is a real story .......
AIRPORT SECURITY: What's your name?
PASSENGER: Batman.
AIRPORT SECURITY: Your real name, please.
PASSENGER: My name is Batman.
AIRPORT SECURITY: Are you trying to be funny?! What's your surname?
PASSENGER: Superman.
Airport security handcuffed him and put him in a locked security facility.
Then they checked his passport (attached).
AIRPORT SECURITY: What's your name?
PASSENGER: Batman.
AIRPORT SECURITY: Your real name, please.
PASSENGER: My name is Batman.
AIRPORT SECURITY: Are you trying to be funny?! What's your surname?
PASSENGER: Superman.
Airport security handcuffed him and put him in a locked security facility.
Then they checked his passport (attached).
Next Time You Think Life is Hard..Think Again
My name is Nick Vujicic and I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth 'defect'. As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles. Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it... The doctors were shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby.
I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a 'box'. The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything withoutGod . Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!
I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these 'bad' things happen in our life. I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless God has a good purpose for it all I am now twenty-three years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting. I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector.
I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow. Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year.
It will be called 'No Arms, No Legs, and No Worries!'
I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a 'box'. The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything withoutGod . Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!
13 ways to relieve stress
Stress Reliever #1
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.>Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 5
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 6
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 7
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 8
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 9
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 10
Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man yo u are sleeping with?
Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others! ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 11
Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?
Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side. ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 12
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour.
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 13
Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.>Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 5
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 6
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 7
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 8
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 9
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone. ________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 10
Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man yo u are sleeping with?
Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others! ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 11
Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?
Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side. ________________________________________________________________________>Stress Reliever # 12
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour.
________________________________________________________________________ Stress Reliever # 13
Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.
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